Please remember your sanity and happiness (now) are also, if not more important than the one of the future.
Your future self must realize that if your past (that is your presently present) self did not survive, it (being the future self) would definitely not exist.
You gotta do what you need to be OKAY!
It’s okay to stretch yourself, but not at the expense of yourself.
Disclaimer: This post does not encourage, support or endorse unhealthy habits, practices or criminal behaviour as “coping mechanisms”. So advise your current self. Don’t be unfortunate!